thoughts...

Hello all (again!),
So, after the day I have been doing some thinking and am ready to share some thoughts...
On the issue of weight: I have shared many experiences with the girls (and guys) about the fact that we´ve ALL gained some weight. But we have gained so much more, no?? So I figure, its not HOW you gain (by eating too much Pan, maybe??), but what you gain it and how you carry it. How you carry yourself no matter what Size you are. I saw on the profile of one of my friends this video about "fat talk" and how (I think it is Delta Delta Delta) has this whole campaign to try and stop it. This "I´m so fat" or, "do I look fat in this?" that kind of stuff. It is so negative and so un-necessiary. Whenever I have gotten a compliment that I "look good" it is because I have FELT good. Inside and out. And weight is such a temporary thing, anyway. Our bodies are such wonderful and delicate tools that OF COURSE what we put into them, we get out of them. Science. Common sence. Being "in-tune". so, thats that. If you feel good, look good, bee good...All is well...
On the issue of light: Today, while walking home from the metro, I realized something. It was within the context of one of those can´t-take-your-eyes-off-it sunsets, setting over the sea... And I realized that I felt, absorbed, radiated and walked in Light. Luz. I wrote this word in my book the other day luzco. And it means "I shine" and I like that. Then I came home and had a wonderful conversation with my host mom about many many things, some pertaining to light and the light you carry within you. (sidenote:My host brother got a tattoo today of a sun on his right shoulder to represent the fact that he has come forth from a darkness and is now into light. yea.) Monica shared many things with me about myhost sister´s father (not the same as my host-Brother), and how he was just "terrible, terrible". He seemed like a dark person, and Monica did an impressive job of describing his soul to me. She also said some really profound things about the improtance of having people in your life to support and be there for you. Now...
On the issue of family: Monica has said so many times, that I am a part of their family here. She is somewhat religous, and shared with me that she believes it was God who put me in this house with them. Although I may not believe in any conventional "GOD" per-se, I do believe there was some wonderful series of events that lead perfectly to my arrival. In more conversing, we talked about how important it is that we have trust in eachother, and she told me that she is ALWAYS going to be there for me, no matter what. The importance of this is bigger than words can hold, and something I can only feel. She said "when people are alone, Celine, and feel sad at the same time- this is when they make mistakes". And I agree. I have comitted many errors in the past, and of course will commit more throughout my life, but after knowing how to Dissapoint my parents (family, friends) I have decided that I like making them Proud better. And this isn´t to say I ´ll Never mess up again (Pretty sure I AM human, after all...). But that I will try to instead seek support over solidarity. Comfort over control, and love over lashing-out (ok, that last one was just for the alliteration, but I think the point stays clear).
On the issue of "Trivial things": I have an ice cream date tomorrow :). I was a little nervous (for some reason) and Monica calmed my nerves. The very WORST thing that could happen is that it is slightly awkward, and we find out that we´re not conversationally compatible. OH WELL. The best, is that I have a new friend to talk to and chat with and hang out with. And Why cover the best of me with nerves? Isn´t it the best of me that I want to show!? Isn´t that the point? Here I am at my Very Best. ¿Ya? Because if not, then that is only less of my best to share with you, and more to share with someone who recieves it and shares back. Another Monica saying "You don´t have to only be pretty after a couple of Beers, Celine" and "It is nice to go to bed with someone, but waking up with them is nice, too. And doing that every day can be even nicer". Oh Monica... Thank you.
So, thats (more-or- less) where I am at this point in my examination of life...Which is what this is, really. Just one big experiment to try, examine, explore, get results, and try again...mmmmm. wow, I am bursting with thoughts at the moment, but may need to let them stew a while longer so they are more savory when shared at last. After all, I need to get rested for tomorrow! haha, sort of kidding :)
Chau chau!